Tick, Tock

Trauma is a tricky thing.

PTSD is a tricky thing.

Our traumas are like shrill echoes down a long hallway. PTSD makes you believe they are not echoes, but that the eerie, disturbing things that happened are happening again.

We can get caught up in waiting for the shrieks to fade out. We listen intently for a silence which never comes.
It’s like trying to fall asleep to the sound of a ticking clock. It gets louder and louder, harder to ignore, and makes us crazy.

Healing is not just the process of patching up our wounds and teaching us how to be human despite our traumas, but also the process of recognizing what some of us have never experienced: What is good.

I have learned over the years about genuine delight. Peaceful sounds that can totally overwhelm the shrieks. 

+Growing things; flowers, plants, veggies
+Making things; art, music, laughter, food, drinks
+Making friends; discovering common loves, hearing stories, sharing in life
+Loving my husband; planning days to celebrate him, making gifts, planning our dreams together
+Loving GOD; learning about Him, listening for His Voice, day dreaming about heaven, praying, reading The Bible

I get so caught up in the hurt and worry, the pain of my illness, that I forget to look at the stars, play with the dog, snuggle my husband, read a fairytale. I forget the good things and even when I do remember,  it feels as though something terrible is going to crash in, which sets me on edge again.

In healing, we learn the balance between accepting the depth of our pain and wounds and learning what is good and right and just.
Focusing too much on “moving forward” and trying to drown out the shrieking just leads to denial and trying to run away from our hurts instead of facing them head on.
Focusing too much on the pain is like listening to that clock; everything gets louder and less bearable until we’ve paralyzed ourselves. 

GOD is the only one who can set this balance for us. He knows, individually, where each of us lean.
I pray then that He would show you your own boundaries for healing.
Healing is already crazy enough without our additions.

REMEMBER THE LOVE OF GOD
SEEK THE TRUTH OF GOD

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