“Why do you need to be adopted?”, people ask me.
Well, think of all the reasons you don’t need to be adopted and take them away. All the love and support you get from your family; the remembering-your-birthday and letting-you-sign-your-sibling’s-birthday-card-because-you-forgot and crying-on-shoulders and telling-you-everything-will-be-okay.
Even if you’re married like me, you know that talking to your mom or dad or brother or sister about certain things is important. Telling your family you and your spouse are going to have a baby, for instance is a big deal.
Then, not worrying that that baby can be taken from you if something happens to your spouse. Because you know, you have a mental illness.
Also, not worrying that you may be forced back into the cycle of abuse you escaped because you don’t have the protection of your marriage and your “next-of-kin” aren’t the best choice to take care of you.
There are a ton of negative things that I’m escaping by being adopted as an adult. But there are a bunch of awesome reasons for me to be adopted as an adult, too.
We can see my family. I can sit around a table and look at faces of people who chose to call themselves mine.
My child can score more gifts from their grandma and grandpa. Duh.
It’s hard enough to be pregnant. I already know I’m going to need a mommy or two.
It’s cheesy but, whatever. It’s a chance to know what it’s like to be part of a family that loves me and supports me. I don’t have to play dysfunctional games or worry about a panic attack.
If you have spent your life being loved and accepted, this part may not weigh very heavily on your heart.
But spending the first 20+ years of my life being made to feel like a jerk, a burden, a chore, a blemish, insignificant, and generally useless and untrustworthy- having people who not only want to say and believe the opposite about you but want to claim that you belong to them, is a big freaking deal.
There really are people who would chose to call me their daughter. It isn’t an accident. It isn’t convenient. It’s simply something they want to do. So what if I’m a grown up. Beth Moore says in her talks for the Esther study, “A child is an orphan at any age”.
It’s true. The people who helped give birth to me don’t want to accept or love or support me as I am. They want a version of me that conforms to their expectations. Being that person gave me C-PTSD. I’m kind of done with it. So I’m getting adopted.
Dog photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/pamwood707/6267172595/”>Woody H1</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>cc</a>