The Holiday Funk

The holidays are my husband’s favorite time of year. He loves decorating, shopping for gifts, wrapping presents, and seeing people’s faces when they open what he’s gotten them. He loves Christmas trees, Advent calendars, Christmas stories, claymation specials; any thing Christmas related- he’s on it. He refers to Christmas movies simply as “Christmases”. “Do you […]

The Long Road of Grief: Jim and Jean

    I used to believe that grief could be measured. That the amount of sorrow you should feel about something was some how dispensed to you and that you got less the further away you were from the epicenter of tragedy. The flaw in that system is that grief is not a controllable entity. […]

Us and Them: The Giant Myth

A couple years ago I read this great article in Christianity Today about how after quite a few surveys they discovered something about Christians. Despite popularly held belief, people outside the faith typically liked Christians. They thought that they were usually nice, trustworthy, likable humans. Reading this article, I felt a weight lift. “Wait, people don’t hate […]

Is Your Small Group A Social Club?

This post isn’t my first about problems that I’ve seen in The Church. It probably won’t be my last. But what I have learned in the last year is that abandonment can come from the strangest places. Even your church small group. But wait? Isn’t it supposed to be a collection of friends? If not […]

The Whole Point of My Blog

  My relationship with GOD is always the first thing to suffer when things get difficult for me in the mental health department. I forget how to pray. I forget how important it is to pray. I fight the feelings of shame and failure when things aren’t miraculously “better” just because I’m checking all the […]

PTSD In a World of Triggers

PTSD is a triggered disorder. Meaning that; seeing, hearing, or over all experiencing things even loosely related to the trauma can cause anything from a panic attack to a full-blown flashback to sometimes, nothing. Being triggered can look a variety of ways. It can set off a chain of obsessive compulsive behavior like picking at […]

For Caregivers: Childhood Trauma and Self Soothing

When I was little, I would lay in my bed and brush my hair all to one side. Like someone would if they ran their hands through my hair. When things were scary, I would hide under my bed or in my closet. If that was an option. When I wet the bed, I got […]

I Have Nothing To Show For My Life

If you ask me where I’m from, I will doubtless tell you about Northern Virginia. It is a singular place. It’s an even more singular place to grow up. In the midst of a largely transient community there is a sub culture of standbys who make their presence known by consistency and nothing more. I grew up in […]

Lack of Participation Award

Since moving to a new state, I have had to expend a lot of energy making new friends. I’ve also been trying to maintain connections with other meaningful people in my life. Turns out, I do not have the stamina. I have grown increasingly more leery toward people. I don’t trust easily anyway, but it […]

Sexual Abuse and Hygiene

    Diane Langberg’s book, On the Threshold of Hope, is full of wise and healing advice. So much so, that I couldn’t actually get past a particular chapter. Turns out, there are things even I would rather not face head on. What a lot of survivors won’t tell you is that we fight a seemingly […]