The Long Road of Grief: Jim and Jean

    I used to believe that grief could be measured. That the amount of sorrow you should feel about something was some how dispensed to you and that you got less the further away you were from the epicenter of tragedy. The flaw in that system is that grief is not a controllable entity. […]

Is Your Small Group A Social Club?

This post isn’t my first about problems that I’ve seen in The Church. It probably won’t be my last. But what I have learned in the last year is that abandonment can come from the strangest places. Even your church small group. But wait? Isn’t it supposed to be a collection of friends? If not […]

For Caregivers: Childhood Trauma and Self Soothing

When I was little, I would lay in my bed and brush my hair all to one side. Like someone would if they ran their hands through my hair. When things were scary, I would hide under my bed or in my closet. If that was an option. When I wet the bed, I got […]

The Ubiquity of Loneliness

My last post about loneliness was met with a loud cry of solidarity. Which left me with the question: Why are so many people lonely? There are so many ways to connect. But we don’t. Not really anyway. We “like” what people are doing or we comment on how others are spending their time, but […]

Okay? Okay.

Decapitation and other severed body parts are common in surrealist art, especially, of the female form and I can’t help but feel like this woman. Often. It seems lately that for every step I take forward, several are lost. For the amount of hours I clock with my nose to the proverbial grindstone, I find […]

Redefining My Dreams: 10 Things I’ve Let Go So That I Could Heal

  I was inspired this week by a friend,¬†Kait, who could tell you the first, second, and third thing about struggling with chronic illness. She posted about having to give up an opportunity to study abroad in order to begin a more intensive medical regimen to push her¬†Myasthenia Gravis into remission. She inspires me all […]

You Is Strong

For those of you who haven’t seen or read, “The Help”. You probably should. Unless you are like me and you can only handle so much sad in one place, then you can make it halfway through the movie and keep promising yourself that one day you’ll finish it. Doug has taken a refrain he […]

Tick, Tock

Trauma is a tricky thing. PTSD is a tricky thing. Our traumas are like shrill echoes down a long hallway. PTSD makes you believe they are not echoes, but that the eerie, disturbing things that happened are happening again. We can get caught up in waiting for the shrieks to fade out. We listen intently […]

Get a Grip

“Much-Afraid told herself that never before had she realized what the awakening from the death of winter was like.” -Hannah Hurnard, Hind’s Feet On High Places (pg. 112) It is particularly heart-wrenching for me to read those lines. Maybe because the dawn of spring has never been without an expectant joy in my life. The […]